the great adventures of a fallen star part iii

There’s a great difference between me and Zike. Even though he lives “thug life,” don’t forget that I too have a little thug in me. Anyone who knows me, that by blood, I’m 3% Pakistani, 2% Persian and 95% thug. So, there is a little hardcore in me. One may ask, “Can a superhero be a thug?” why not? I am not 100% thug. And, even though Zike is missing a considerable amount of much needed brain cells, you have 2 be conscious that he does indeed have a heart. He is intensely in love with a girl, but can only show his love in a true thug manner. Even though, one may argue that violence and aggression is barbaric; it is perhaps the only way he can display what is actually in his heart. Although he wants to kill me, maybe in fact it is a twisted and perverted way to exhibit his love towards me. Delightful.

This chapter maybe shorter then previous ones, since there is no conflict or introductory of new characters. And, because I have a test and homework which I should be doing right now as I type these words. At this rate I think I may never be done with school. But, on with the story.

Friends. Whoodini said it best “how many of us have them?” I now have one too many. Zike now calls me off the hook. He wants too chill in other words get high. He is now calling for rides and favors. Wanting me to take him to the club and get “crunk.” I, still to this day, have no idea what “crunk” means.

After becoming my new best friend; I thought I had the power 2 change him from haram 2 halal. Spending a few days with him, I came up with another conclusion; that I do not posses this power. In fact, it is like making a roast ham a delicacy in the Islamic world with white wine as the beverage of choice. Nearly impossible. Everyone knows that Saudis like red wine with their ham. Plus, I am no magician, well, ok maybe. But even David Coperfield’s and David Blaine’s illegitimate love child could not miraculously solve such a travesty.

Anyways, I took the kid out to eat. I paid for the food and obviously gave him a ride. During our dinner (cute isn’t), we had numerous conversations. Most were revolving him and his impeccable way of always finding trouble. He was boasting about his fight records. The stories went on from minor crimes of stealing, to hitting his high school teacher to ramming his car into his “future wife’s” car. Even though I was getting input on his psychoness; I was very much intrigued. He had exciting stories; action packed like a low-budget DMX movie. Speaking of movies, I am hungry.

Sorry I easily get sidetracked. My salafi advisor says I have a mild case of ADD. Back to the lecture at hand, I try my best to get him out of his thug mentality. I told him that he should start reading. He would say something like there is no reason to and that hollywood will make a movie about any book. And every time I would give him in my opinion good advice, he would shoot it down with confusing, insensible ignorant comments. For example, I tell the kid to pray and he responds, “Nah, man. Like I pray and then I think. And when I think, I need to get high.” Huh? Exactly. Meow. Word.

One day I come up with a brilliant idea. I figure that if Zike would chill with my other friends they might influence him to do good. Me and my cousin, the moron, were going to chill (socialize) on a Friday night. I call up Zike and told him to be outside his house. It was a cold night; I don’t remember the month or the season, but I remember pumping gas in my car and thinking that it would suck waiting outside that night. Now, I was on my way to pick Zike up, when my Einstein of a cousin Hassan somehow convinces me not to pick him up. Sometimes I have no idea why I ever listen to my cousin. He is my Gilligan to my Skipper. My Pinky to the Brain. My Janet to me being Justin. In essence, he is like all three stooges combined in one man with GNC supplements. Zike ended up waiting for me for about 3 and half hours that night. He called me up the next day wanting to kill me. Joy!

Realizing now, I found that Zike has a great temper. It didn’t hit me when he rammed into his “girlfriend’s” car or got suspended from school for hitting a teacher or even when he tried 2 kill me. But I realize it now.

Now, we become enemies again. Great! The story must go on. But he goes to Pakistan. Darn. But, a new villain comes out of the darkness. Yay! And, a whole new story unravels. Fun!