the great adventures of a fallen star part ii

I found that life is just merely a metaphor. For what exactly, I do not know. But, I do know the world is spinning. And I don’t get dizzy. all I am saying is that I need to stand on my own 2 feet. Do not rely on anyone or anything. And, once the world stops spinning hold on 2 something quick. Newton’s 3rd law of motion. I haven’t even taken physics. You could say I am ahead of my time.

A warm summer breeze, birds chirping and bees busying away on a Monday afternoon doesn’t quite set the mood. Add a day, and a few hours and it becomes Tuesday evening. Now the mood is really set. With a ring on the cell I get an unexpected caller. You guessed it, my arch nemesis, Zike. (The names of the innocent and guilty have been changed, for their own protection from humiliation, embarrassment, or any other disgrace they may face. And, also protection from any lawsuit that I may face.) Anyways, Zike got my phone number from my idiot and never thinking moron of a cousin, Hassan. (His name has not been protected and neither has his phone number. Feel free to call him at anytime, 240.481.6546). It is about midnight and Zike is begging for a ride. I felt pity on the poor child. I mean the kid is almost an adult and basically on his hands and knees asking for a ride. Not only was he groveling but the kid was also throwing around compliments like I was his high school teacher ready to fail him. But while, he was on the phone he was literally kissing my toes, hehe it tickled. It was sad. But, I would be lying if I said that it didn’t make me feel good about myself; especially with the words coming from my worst enemy. So it didn’t make me feel good. Ok, I’m lying. That was cheap shot for a laugh. Anyways, what had happened was that this guy had persuaded me 2 give him a ride. Not only does he live mad far deep in the cut, he needed a ride 2 the other side of town. The year was 2004, and to my knowledge I have not committed any good deeds, so in affect you can say that this was to be my good deed of the year.

I’m ready 2 pick this kid up. I grab my keys and bounce. For future notice, I rarely carry my license on me. I take my mother’s car because I was low on gas plus she got a v6 engine and its pretty damn fast. Which is not a good thing; I have 5 points and coming fresh from a suspended license. That is a different story all together. Zoom! I’m out in a hurry. Blinding fast speed and I get to his house in seconds, actually in 12 minutes, but who’s counting. As I approach his neighborhood I give the kid a call. He is not picking up. While driving I see a dark shadowy figure underneath a streetlight. The figure doesn’t move but it seems 2 be coming closer probably because I’m driving towards it, but who knows. The figure is wearing a dark hoodie covering his head and hiding his face, he was holding something in his hands which I could not see. I tried 2 see what he was holding but with limited light I failed to see what it was. Before I knew it the figure ran straight towards my car opened the passenger side door and jumped in and yelled “go!”

It turned out 2 b Zike, what a relief. (Sarcastic comment) he was thanking me for the ride; I assured him that it was no problem. He told me that he got me gift, I was flattered. He grabbed what looked like a black box from under his hoodie and gave it to me. It was a Kenwood stereo, “I stole it just for you.” My better half told me not 2 accept it, but my poorer and realistic side knew that I need a new head unit for my car. I have been listening to 36 chambers lp on tape ever since it came out. “Can it be that it was all so simple then.” I listened 2 my better half. I knew how the laws of the jungle worked. You give a lion a ball of yarn. And I knew that I would be obligated for a favor in the future. He asks if he can smoke and I said it’s my mother’s car. He assumed that my mother is smoker, so he lit up his cigarette and started smoking. Cough, cough, second hand smoke kills.

Once we got onto the highway we had a series of interesting conversations. I told Zike that he needed to pray, he insisted that I need to get high. I told him to go to school, he told me to get high. I told him that he should read a book; he said he hit a girl on the head with a book. Oh dear. Now this is where I figure out he is really a psychopathic, deranged, ice cold mad man. Insane, like the hamster that runs the wheel in his brain stopped running. Maybe it has asthma, I do not know for sure. For some reason the girl, that he is truly, deeply and madly in love with, will not talk to him. So, he does what any man would do in his position and ram his car into her car while she was still in it. And I thought flowers and chocolates were romantic. She in turn got a restraining order against him. Not quite a match made in heaven. I finally arrived at his destination, and dropped him off. He was thrilled and thanked me a million times. I made a new friend. This is only the beginning of the adventure. More confusion and stuff lies ahead. Meow. Where is that pesky cat?