the great adventures of a fallen star part iii

There’s a great difference between me and Zike. Even though he lives “thug life,” don’t forget that I too have a little thug in me. Anyone who knows me, that by blood, I’m 3% Pakistani, 2% Persian and 95% thug. So, there is a little hardcore in me. One may ask, “Can a superhero be a thug?” why not? I am not 100% thug. And, even though Zike is missing a considerable amount of much needed brain cells, you have 2 be conscious that he does indeed have a heart. He is intensely in love with a girl, but can only show his love in a true thug manner. Even though, one may argue that violence and aggression is barbaric; it is perhaps the only way he can display what is actually in his heart. Although he wants to kill me, maybe in fact it is a twisted and perverted way to exhibit his love towards me. Delightful.

This chapter maybe shorter then previous ones, since there is no conflict or introductory of new characters. And, because I have a test and homework which I should be doing right now as I type these words. At this rate I think I may never be done with school. But, on with the story.

Friends. Whoodini said it best “how many of us have them?” I now have one too many. Zike now calls me off the hook. He wants too chill in other words get high. He is now calling for rides and favors. Wanting me to take him to the club and get “crunk.” I, still to this day, have no idea what “crunk” means.

After becoming my new best friend; I thought I had the power 2 change him from haram 2 halal. Spending a few days with him, I came up with another conclusion; that I do not posses this power. In fact, it is like making a roast ham a delicacy in the Islamic world with white wine as the beverage of choice. Nearly impossible. Everyone knows that Saudis like red wine with their ham. Plus, I am no magician, well, ok maybe. But even David Coperfield’s and David Blaine’s illegitimate love child could not miraculously solve such a travesty.

Anyways, I took the kid out to eat. I paid for the food and obviously gave him a ride. During our dinner (cute isn’t), we had numerous conversations. Most were revolving him and his impeccable way of always finding trouble. He was boasting about his fight records. The stories went on from minor crimes of stealing, to hitting his high school teacher to ramming his car into his “future wife’s” car. Even though I was getting input on his psychoness; I was very much intrigued. He had exciting stories; action packed like a low-budget DMX movie. Speaking of movies, I am hungry.

Sorry I easily get sidetracked. My salafi advisor says I have a mild case of ADD. Back to the lecture at hand, I try my best to get him out of his thug mentality. I told him that he should start reading. He would say something like there is no reason to and that hollywood will make a movie about any book. And every time I would give him in my opinion good advice, he would shoot it down with confusing, insensible ignorant comments. For example, I tell the kid to pray and he responds, “Nah, man. Like I pray and then I think. And when I think, I need to get high.” Huh? Exactly. Meow. Word.

One day I come up with a brilliant idea. I figure that if Zike would chill with my other friends they might influence him to do good. Me and my cousin, the moron, were going to chill (socialize) on a Friday night. I call up Zike and told him to be outside his house. It was a cold night; I don’t remember the month or the season, but I remember pumping gas in my car and thinking that it would suck waiting outside that night. Now, I was on my way to pick Zike up, when my Einstein of a cousin Hassan somehow convinces me not to pick him up. Sometimes I have no idea why I ever listen to my cousin. He is my Gilligan to my Skipper. My Pinky to the Brain. My Janet to me being Justin. In essence, he is like all three stooges combined in one man with GNC supplements. Zike ended up waiting for me for about 3 and half hours that night. He called me up the next day wanting to kill me. Joy!

Realizing now, I found that Zike has a great temper. It didn’t hit me when he rammed into his “girlfriend’s” car or got suspended from school for hitting a teacher or even when he tried 2 kill me. But I realize it now.

Now, we become enemies again. Great! The story must go on. But he goes to Pakistan. Darn. But, a new villain comes out of the darkness. Yay! And, a whole new story unravels. Fun!

the great adventures of a fallen star part ii

I found that life is just merely a metaphor. For what exactly, I do not know. But, I do know the world is spinning. And I don’t get dizzy. all I am saying is that I need to stand on my own 2 feet. Do not rely on anyone or anything. And, once the world stops spinning hold on 2 something quick. Newton’s 3rd law of motion. I haven’t even taken physics. You could say I am ahead of my time.

A warm summer breeze, birds chirping and bees busying away on a Monday afternoon doesn’t quite set the mood. Add a day, and a few hours and it becomes Tuesday evening. Now the mood is really set. With a ring on the cell I get an unexpected caller. You guessed it, my arch nemesis, Zike. (The names of the innocent and guilty have been changed, for their own protection from humiliation, embarrassment, or any other disgrace they may face. And, also protection from any lawsuit that I may face.) Anyways, Zike got my phone number from my idiot and never thinking moron of a cousin, Hassan. (His name has not been protected and neither has his phone number. Feel free to call him at anytime, 240.481.6546). It is about midnight and Zike is begging for a ride. I felt pity on the poor child. I mean the kid is almost an adult and basically on his hands and knees asking for a ride. Not only was he groveling but the kid was also throwing around compliments like I was his high school teacher ready to fail him. But while, he was on the phone he was literally kissing my toes, hehe it tickled. It was sad. But, I would be lying if I said that it didn’t make me feel good about myself; especially with the words coming from my worst enemy. So it didn’t make me feel good. Ok, I’m lying. That was cheap shot for a laugh. Anyways, what had happened was that this guy had persuaded me 2 give him a ride. Not only does he live mad far deep in the cut, he needed a ride 2 the other side of town. The year was 2004, and to my knowledge I have not committed any good deeds, so in affect you can say that this was to be my good deed of the year.

I’m ready 2 pick this kid up. I grab my keys and bounce. For future notice, I rarely carry my license on me. I take my mother’s car because I was low on gas plus she got a v6 engine and its pretty damn fast. Which is not a good thing; I have 5 points and coming fresh from a suspended license. That is a different story all together. Zoom! I’m out in a hurry. Blinding fast speed and I get to his house in seconds, actually in 12 minutes, but who’s counting. As I approach his neighborhood I give the kid a call. He is not picking up. While driving I see a dark shadowy figure underneath a streetlight. The figure doesn’t move but it seems 2 be coming closer probably because I’m driving towards it, but who knows. The figure is wearing a dark hoodie covering his head and hiding his face, he was holding something in his hands which I could not see. I tried 2 see what he was holding but with limited light I failed to see what it was. Before I knew it the figure ran straight towards my car opened the passenger side door and jumped in and yelled “go!”

It turned out 2 b Zike, what a relief. (Sarcastic comment) he was thanking me for the ride; I assured him that it was no problem. He told me that he got me gift, I was flattered. He grabbed what looked like a black box from under his hoodie and gave it to me. It was a Kenwood stereo, “I stole it just for you.” My better half told me not 2 accept it, but my poorer and realistic side knew that I need a new head unit for my car. I have been listening to 36 chambers lp on tape ever since it came out. “Can it be that it was all so simple then.” I listened 2 my better half. I knew how the laws of the jungle worked. You give a lion a ball of yarn. And I knew that I would be obligated for a favor in the future. He asks if he can smoke and I said it’s my mother’s car. He assumed that my mother is smoker, so he lit up his cigarette and started smoking. Cough, cough, second hand smoke kills.

Once we got onto the highway we had a series of interesting conversations. I told Zike that he needed to pray, he insisted that I need to get high. I told him to go to school, he told me to get high. I told him that he should read a book; he said he hit a girl on the head with a book. Oh dear. Now this is where I figure out he is really a psychopathic, deranged, ice cold mad man. Insane, like the hamster that runs the wheel in his brain stopped running. Maybe it has asthma, I do not know for sure. For some reason the girl, that he is truly, deeply and madly in love with, will not talk to him. So, he does what any man would do in his position and ram his car into her car while she was still in it. And I thought flowers and chocolates were romantic. She in turn got a restraining order against him. Not quite a match made in heaven. I finally arrived at his destination, and dropped him off. He was thrilled and thanked me a million times. I made a new friend. This is only the beginning of the adventure. More confusion and stuff lies ahead. Meow. Where is that pesky cat?

the great adventures of a fallen star part i

I have come 2 a conclusion. A simple conclusion, one that needed much thought. But I realized my life maybe more exciting then the average superhero. And even though I possess neither superhuman power nor strength (we'll leave my charm out of this) I have somehow managed make an arch nemesis. My sworn enemy, like me has no power, but in fact is a brainless buffoon. He has been desenizted by american pop culture, and for some reason he believes he is the reincarnated version of 2pac. It’s rather cute, actually. But, I do worry about him sometimes. But I do think that his main power maybe the fact that I have no idea what the hell he is thinking. Sometimes people do things for a reason but this guy has me baffled. It's like when you see someone doing something, and you have no idea why they do it. Bananas. The electo-magnetic stereo waves received from hardcore gangsta rap music have descrambled his brain. Poor guy. He is not like the normal 2pac impersonators, he in fact really lives life as a thug. Weird, especially since he was raised in the suburbs in montgomery county. 1 of the richest county's in the east coast. He has mastery in the skill of ebonics, where he performs at a high linguist level. Word up.

But, he is not my only problem. I have a sidekick. At times he can b my best friend but most times he is like my enemy. And even though he is my cousin we have very few similarities. I’m cute, he looks like a gremlin. At times I maybe funny, he is funny looking. I dress nice, he wears a dress. He is very stubborn and most time does not like 2 use his brain. He believes real thought comes from protein bars and health shakes. So basically I use him 4 his muscle and I do all the thinking. I am probably the only person 2 know that he is really not a homosexual, but is just really affectionate 2 the same sex.

I also have an advisor, he is salafi. He tells me 2 cut my hair and wear clothes that fit me. He also tells me that it ain't cool to have your pants hanging off your butt. He also has a super power. He has knowledge of stuff. Not ordinary stuff. But stuff about stuff. Sometimes it is deep philosophical stuff or stuff that relates 2 stuff u never thought about. So deep that you say “wow, that’s some deep stuff.” Sometimes I don’t understand his stuff. It’s like he is on another level thinking, not even Socrates could comprehend. His stuff would confuse some of the greatest thinkers of our time. He personally has me puzzled or befuddled. Whatever. He gives me a headache. Because of his stuff he has the power 2 give headaches at will. That is sum powerful stuff.

Now, I’m not your typical protagonist, especially in western sense. I have no steady income, I’m skinny, arrogant and I’m pakistani. meow. Did u hear a cat? Anyways, where was I? Plus, I’m also a victim of mtv propaganda and have been brainwashed to a point where I have become a mindless zombie. That is until now, television has soaked so much in2 my brain that it no longer affects me. I no longer believe anything on TV, or any other media. Now, that I think about it I don’t believe in a lot of things. I’m lazy; I have no idea why I even started typing this story. I don’t own a pair of sneakers and I don’t floss. I have high mastery in the art of cards and vast knowledge of hip hop. Basically, lb fam. Also I have a skill that somehow every month I go over my cell phone bill. Amazing, is it not. Especially since I have free incoming. And what I truly do not grasp in life is...stuff. And, now our adventure begins.

sacrafice

slaughter the natives and forced to reservations
for the greater good of the nation
take the black man captive, enslaved on2 plantations
for the greater good of the nation
territorial acquisition, brutal unjust invasion
for the greater good of the nation
rich get richer and poorer get 4gotten,
social injustice, social separation
for the greater good of the nation
the white man shall prevail with great pride 4 caucasians
for the greater good of the nation
black & white can never integrate,
separate but never equal, segregation
for the greater good of the nation
ceos of corporations
live lavishly while they feed on those facing starvation
for the greater good of the nation
political prisoners silenced,
fundamental rights confronts violation
for the greater good of the nation
historical facts dismissed with no past recollection
media revelation, twisted lies become reliable information
for the greater good of the nation
double standards, hypocrisy, globalization
ethnic cleansing, suppression, soul annexation
moral decay, social injustice, commercialization
misled narration, ignored reparations, ideological fornication
veiled from the Creator of all creations
for the greater good of the nation

sacrifices must b made lives have 2 b laid

poltics

pornographic painted pictures
of pained prisoners
proudly parading in published papers
protested by pompous presidential powers
panic polluting the public
paranoia prepares a paradox of propaganda
politicians plunder and pillage
patriotic poster boys practice
principles that r improper
perverse pages of proverbs
as pious patrons pray 4 paradise
paralyzed by the parasite
passion of the priest perceived as passive
the project of the planned peace process
perishes with the rest of the primitive policies
probables and possibilities ain't positive
patience and persistence seem preposterous
potent poison put in2 practice