Friday, March 04, 2005

the great adventures of a fallen star part iiii

Only one word can summarize the pain and agony I suffer. That word is: Ouch. Day by day the pain escalates. Insurmountable pain, that my words barely illustrate the wounding ordeal. Ouch. Just thinking about it hurts. Tears from my discomfort are flooding down my cheek. Unbearable, even as I reminisce on the pain staking experience. The terrifying torture is totally tormenting, turning into a tremendously troublesome trial. Ouch. The throbbing sensation does not stop. Ouch. Not even for a split second. Pulsating at every breath I took. One, pain ouch. Two, pain, ouch. Three, pain, ouch. It was a never ending cycle of pain. Four, pain, ouch.

Finally, I could not take the pain anymore. I had to go to the doctor, uh dentist. My tooth was literally killing me and the pain was too much. Ouch. I called up my salafi advisor and told him about the sharp pain I was feeling in my tooth. You see, I do not have insurance nor do I have money to throw around, therefore I was hoping my advisor would come up with a viable solution. Like always, my salafi friend did not let me down and he found me a dentist. Not only was she a dentist, she would also do the task for a small fee. This is great, not only did I find a way to rid my toothache but rid it in an inexpensive manner. Life in the suburbs is rough.

On my first visit the dentist said I had healthy teeth. She only said that to cheer me up before she gave me the really bad new. And that news is…you know that I am going to add a little suspense before I actually reveal the bad news.

An overtone of extreme danger is circling my head, like an omen sent from above. Dentist appointments are always the worst. The spot light right in your eye like it is an interrogation. I am sorry that I don’t floss, really I am. And, I promise I will brush my teeth at least twice a day. And mouthwash and eat less chocolates and sweets and from now on I will chew on sugar free gum. My new dentist asks me all these silly questions with her fingers in my mouth. How does she expect me to answer them questions without biting her hand off? And the questions she asks are extremely retarded. “How often do you floss?” “Do you brush your teeth regularly?” “Did you know that you have cavities?” She knows the answer to all these questions; why else would I be at the dentist. It’s not like I go to the dentist for fun. I should have just bit her hand off when she had her fingers all up in my mouth for being so annoying. Even worse, here is the bad news: she has to pull 5 teeth. Five of my precious teeth are going to get pulled out of my mouth. The same teeth I use to bite down food and the same teeth I chew food with and the same teeth that was going to bite her hand off with. What kind of logic is that? “since you have pain in your tooth, we have to get rid of it.” That’s like if you go to a neurosurgeon for a headache and the surgeon chops off your brain.

To make matters worse she is not a full practicing dentist. She is just student and the only dentist I could afford. Finances are tight and I could only manage to pay for a bootleg dentist who does basement surgery. My life is getting rougher by the second. But, at least she gave me pain killers. It’s no oxycontin but it will do. A week later, I had a follow up appointment. That day, the rain was coming down hard. The hardest I have seen it that year. I was an hour late due to traffic and morons who for some reason like to drive 3 miles an hour because they feel it is safer. While writing that past sentence I realized the world is full morons. It took me forever to find a parking spot. My dentist assisted me to find a spot right under a bus sign.

After parking I make my way towards her office. She sits me down on a chair, and takes out the hugest needle I ever seen. I am strong man. I don’t cry. I got punched in my face once. I got hit in the eye causing my contact to come flying out. I fell from the top of the steps, when I was a child. But, when that needle penetrated into my skin injecting who knows what, I shed a tear. Pain, I hate it. Her professor came up to me and told me to be a man. What?! Let me shove a 5 inch needle down the back of your mouth and see how you like it. Here comes the fun part. My bootleg dentist takes out some sort of instrument that looked like pliers. I do not know how hygienic it was. She shoves into the back of my mouth and with ease takes out my wisdom tooth. Next, she aims for my upper first molar. She puts the tool on my tooth and starts twisting it. Never mind, that I am human and I feel pain. She starts using brute force and breaks the tooth. Her professor comes in and started showing her how it is done. I am so glad that he showed up. Even though, he had bifocals and I doubt that he had reliable vision. He took out the rest of the broken tooth. Actually, a week later a piece of my tooth was protruding out of my gums. It later fell out and I accidentally swallowed it.

I left that appointment with a numb mouth; I was unable to speak. As I walked towards my car the rain had furiously picked up, drenching me as each step I take. Approaching my car, I noticed that the parking enforcement was kind enough to give me a notice of how I was illegally parked. That notice also came with a $75 service fee. What a day!

In other news, my car was broken into. Every single window of my car was smashed. And, it was not only my car. Hassan had the same exact problem. It was a going away gift from our buddy Zike. He is such a sweet guy.